Bah Humbug

Lately I've been incredibly depressed. Christmas is around the corner and I refuse to put up my Christmas tree. I miss my mom. She is seriously my best friend and now that she is back living across the country from me (literally as far away as she can get) I haven't found that Christmas spirit I used to so easily come across. Nothing excites me lately, no amount of Christmas music cheers me up. I actually downloaded the entire Boney M Christmas album to try and cheer myself up and all that did was make me cry. I find myself drinking at home alone after work. I've never done that before in my life. My weight is out of control and so is the disaster of a mess at my house. I'm seriously hoping I can get through this without completely destroying my life. I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's just not bright enough. Man I feel like Scrooge. Maybe I need some ghosts to come to me in the night and bring me back that Christmas spirit I've been longing for. Ugh.